gone too soon?

recently, i have been on an extremely reflective mode. it's been a year since i've been out there working. looking back, i have no regrets whatsoever for having made the decision to forgo the chance of getting a degree in order to rough it out in the real world. well it hasn't been easy, truth to be told, but i have been loving every moment of it so far. never in my life have i been more intentional about the way i live. and i am extremely thankful for the many different people i have met in this past one year during the course of my work and outside of work.

as a brand new year creeps near, i have been extremely intrigued by these two simple questions that i have posed for myself. that is, 1) "what's next?", and 2) "would this matter if i die?"

about a few years ago, i had a wonderful opportunity to meet up with a lecturer of mine back in school. and that 4 hour plus time we spent together over dinner had been the best lesson i have ever had in life. i remember so vividly how we talked about design and everything else. and it was nearing to the end of our meeting that he told me that, "the question is always about 'what's next?'" i was never really able to understand him completely back then. this question though, is kinda haunting me right now. i guess it took me a while to figure that we have to make plans for life, to be intentional, and never be too comfortable with the way things are - but always going farther by stepping out of the comfort zone and stretch. right now, i am just thinking about different aspects of life where i can grow.

while contemplating about life, i am at the same time contemplating about the notion of death. as cliche as it sounds, but really, death is the common destination we all share. i am sorry if i sound a little morbid here, but the fact is no one has ever escaped death before. and anyone with gut-honesty will be ready to admit his or her fear for death. a quote from hellen keller which really inspired me goes something like this, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure." this quote has resonate with me ever since i first read it. and my personal belief is this: to be able to live each day is in itself a God-given. no one can ever be so sure as to when he or she will die. it might happen in a year or two, or maybe at the very next second. with that i have firmly decided for myself to continue to live out and seek out His will for my life. i sincerely believe that it is the only thing worth living for. and in short, it means cape diem. when there are times at crossroads when i have to make decisions in life, major or small, i have always question myself "would it matter if i die?" i guess, in the face of death, it makes living life according to the calling given a lot more easier, no matter how hard it seems to be.

as for now, more plans will be made before i embark onto a new adventure in the coming new year. till then!